Last Monday I referred to an excerpt by Henri Nouwen that I thought was so relevant to our conversation about addictions/what we run from or to for fullfillment. Here is the excerpt from The Return of the Prodigal Son:
For a very long time I considered low self-esteem to be some kind of virtue. I had been warned so often against pride and conceit that I came to consider it a good thing to deprecate myself. But now I realize that the real sin is to deny God's first love for me, to ignore my original goodness. Because without claiming that first love and that original goodness for myself, I lost touch with my true self and embark on the destructive search among the wrong people and in the wrong places for what can only be found in the house of my Father.
For a very long time I considered low self-esteem to be some kind of virtue. I had been warned so often against pride and conceit that I came to consider it a good thing to deprecate myself. But now I realize that the real sin is to deny God's first love for me, to ignore my original goodness. Because without claiming that first love and that original goodness for myself, I lost touch with my true self and embark on the destructive search among the wrong people and in the wrong places for what can only be found in the house of my Father.
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That is a wonderful statement - I have often heard of low self esteem or self loathing as 'reverse pride' For me pride( and the reverse) has always been one of those 'invisible' things that is difficult to see in myself, easier to view in others. . I think reverse pride pushes that original goodness so far away so God can't touch me and neither can anyone else. . . but then pride does the exact same thing but it seems our society allows pride to be so much more honorable somehow. . . pride in our accomplishments, kids, possessions , etc etc, ad infinitum.
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