So, this week I decided to go back and read some of the old posts written during the Forgiveness, Healing, Transformation study. I was truly blown away at how one of Kathy N's posts were SO fitting to this discussion about Immaculee's journey. I have listed some of them here again, along with some questions she asked us to think about. Look at how I have compared Kathy's posts to some of Immaculee's story. If you can think of other excerpts from the book that relate to her posts, please add them. Kathy's posts are in purple, Immaculee's story in red.
Kathy's post - "After transformation, you seldom have the feeling you have found anything. It feels much more like Someone found you! You find yourself having been grabbed, held, and being Someone's beloved. . . "
pg. 84 from Left to Tell - "The mental anguish was even more intense. I was trapped alone with my thoughts, and the dark fears and doubts that had haunted me since my arrival became relentless - they wormed into my heart and undermined the foundation of my faith. When the killers were out of earshot, my thoughts drifted away from God, and the negative energy rushed in. Yet whenever I prayed, I immediately felt His love around me, and the anxiety eased."
Kathy's post - "Two paths to transformation are great love and great suffering. . ."
There are so many examples of Immaculee's immense suffering, I dare not try to quote them. If you read the book, you know how immense her suffering was and probably still is. But, I did choose an excerpt that I think really describes her Great love. Page 79 Left To Tell - "My head was burning, but I did hear the killers in the hall, screaming, 'Kill them! Kill them all!' No! God is love, I told the voice. He loves me and wouldn't fill me with fear. He will not abandon me. He will not let me die cowering on a bathroom floor. He will not let me die in shame!"
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The first thought that comes to my mind regarding Kathy's question (Kathy's post - "And a question to think about: What is faith? How do YOU define it? What does it mean to you?") is faith is big...ok, obviously I am lacking in vocabulary this AM! It's no wonder to me that in my talks with nonbelievers that they have a very hard time with Faith---to really believe that God can save someone from something as horrific as a holocaust/genocide. Faith-knowing that He CAN, but really trusting that He may not. Our faith cannot be based on if God gives us what WE WANT. This has changed my prayer life and my relationship with Him.
ReplyDeleteRegarding love and suffering...I had posted something a while back that JUMPED out of the pages at me. Here is what I posted:
I am only 79 pages into this book and I have felt so many emotions toward every page I have read.
On page 79 I read the same sentence 3 times....it spoke to me.
After 2 days in the bathroom and hearing the rallying of the killers outside the window, " In all my years of praying, I'd never focused so completely on God, or been so keenly aware of the presence of darkness."
How does this statement Immaculee made speak to you? Have you ever felt this way before?
What does faith mean to me? I'm taking a writing workshop that is straining my brain much like Kathy's questions can do, which you know is SO GOOD...
ReplyDeleteWed. night at the workshop we were prompted to write about the one thing we absolutely could NOT live without.
My answer may be applicable to your discussion so I'll share it.
"I could not live without my faith. Without my relationship with Jesus, I would be like a person without air. I would be desperately alone, fearful, defeated, despairing. When He and I met, I was spiraling down a dark pit of confusion, fear, and total hopelessness. My thinking was so convoluted, steeped in bitterness, so out of sync with others around me, it felt like I was physically and emotionally bound with heavy chains. Hopeless and insecure don't seem dark enough terms to describe how alone and lost I felt. God reached His loving hand down into that dark, slimy, sucking hole I was in, lifted me out and became my hope and sanity. If I didn't know Him, I'd have been committed long ago for bizarre and destructive behavior to myself and to others. He yanked a deep root of bitterness out of my blackened heart and gave me life."
I challenge you to think about the ONE thing you could NOT live without and see where it takes you...be authentic of course. God bless you each. xo Susie T.
I thought about Kathy's faith question during the study, but never really took the time to articulate my thoughts.
ReplyDeleteQuite simply: To me, FAITH is making God real. Not that I would be the one to make Him real, but that I would be able to actually BE WITH Him, not just believe in Him.